Devin McDermottThe Intimacy Reset
She can feel the distance. Close it in 60 days.
1-on-1 coaching to quit porn, get past porn-induced ED and be fully present with her again. From a man who quit nearly 6 years ago and has coached 170+ men since.
A confidential 30-minute call with me. There's no payment to be made on this page.
Watch this first. It's under 90 seconds.
Six men who did it, in their own voices.
Recorded after we worked together. Their faces are blurred to protect their privacy. Everything they say is theirs.
I was that guy.
Before I helped 170+ men break free, I was hooked myself. And it nearly cost me the woman I loved, because I couldn't show up for her.
2019
2025
Maybe your relationship looks like this now. Count how many sound familiar.
- She reaches for you in bed, and you feel nothing.
- You'd rather be alone with a screen than close to her.
- You can't get hard with her, or you lose it halfway through.
- You're checked out, and she can feel it.
- She found your search history, or you live in fear that she will.
- You can't look her in the eye because of the guilt.
- Sex has turned into a performance you keep failing.
- You've promised her "never again" more times than you can count.
- You win everywhere else. Career, gym, money. But the part of your life that matters most to her is falling apart.
- You've tried Viagra, blockers and willpower. None of it touched the real problem.
If you saw yourself in that list: you're not a bad man, and you're not broken. You've had the wrong approach. Here's why.
Why it works alone, but not with her
There's a part of your brain about the size of an almond. The amygdala. It drives your emotional and sexual responses, and porn has hijacked it.
I call it The Animal. Years of screens have trained it to fire for pixels. Not for her.
When The Animal takes over, your CEO brain goes offline. The part that loves her, plans and decides gets locked out.
That's why you can want her and still reach for the screen. Then the CEO comes back online to the regret, and makes excuses for The Animal. "It wasn't that bad." "I was stressed." "I'll start fresh tomorrow."
Willpower lets the CEO overpower The Animal for a while. A pill can force blood flow for a night.
But this isn't a blood-flow problem. It's wiring. Holding the seesaw down doesn't change the wiring.
The Animal is still there, still trained on the screen. The first bad day, lonely night or stressful week, it takes the wheel again. And the bedroom goes cold again.
The Intimacy Reset works on both sides at once. We retrain The Animal to respond to her again, and strengthen the CEO, until staying clean stops being a fight.
It's not in your head. It's in the research.
-
14–28%
of European men aged 18 to 40 had erectile dysfunction by 2011. Before free streaming porn arrived in 2006, studies put men under 40 at about 2%.
Park et al., Behavioral Sciences, 2016
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58%
of men with compulsive porn use in a 2014 Cambridge brain-imaging study reported weaker desire or erections with real partners, but not with porn. That's 11 of the 19 men.
Voon et al., PLOS ONE, 2014
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65 of 67
brain studies on porn users report the same changes found in addiction: sensitization, desensitization, weaker impulse control and a stress system that misfires.
The four changes: Volkow et al., New England Journal of Medicine, 2016
That's why willpower and pills don't fix it. It's wiring, so the fix has to work on the wiring.
Everything you've tried is management.
Pills, blockers, willpower, day counters, forums. They all manage the problem. None of them fix why it happens.
Management What you've probably tried
- Viagra and other pillsThey force blood flow for a night. Your problem isn't blood flow. It's wiring.
- Web blockersYou hand your self-control to an app, never build the muscle, and always find a way around them.
- WillpowerEvery broken promise to yourself, and to her, costs a little more confidence.
- Forums and streak countersEveryone there is stuck in the same loop. Good intentions. Zero results.
- Beating yourself upShame makes you hide. Hiding pulls you away from her. And the distance feeds the urge.
- Quitting and hopingQuitting is the foundation. On its own, it doesn't bring back desire, trust or presence.
- Motivation and mantrasFired up on Monday. Back to square one by Friday.
- “Just once in a while”Moderation keeps The Animal fed.
Resolution What the Intimacy Reset does instead
- Turn the sensitivity back downSo real touch and real closeness register again, not just a screen.
- Redirect the driveSexual energy is just energy. We move it away from the screen and back toward her, your work and your body.
- Strengthen the CEOSo stress, loneliness and boredom stop knocking it offline.
- Rebuild how you see yourselfFrom a guy trying to stop, to a husband who doesn't do that.
Quitting porn stops the damage. It doesn't bring the connection back on its own. That takes work on the brain, the bedroom and the man, at the same time.
Don't take my word for it.
These are messages from men I've worked with, exactly as they sent them. I added the red underlines. Initials only, for their privacy.
“My relationship with my wife has improved immensely in both sexual and intellectual ways.”
His message, as sent.
Same man, a year and a half after he first reached out:
“My life couldn't be better. Financially with my work, the satisfaction of my marriage and sex life, and accomplishing my goals in motor racing, everything is on track.”
His follow-up, as sent.
“I was unable to find any meds that would cure my ED without a throbbing headache or other side effects, and I just wanted my life back.”
His message, as sent. He'd been free for about eight months when he wrote it.
More of their messages
“I've been clean now for 48 days.” … “My wife has commented on my increased sense of presence.”
“It now feels to me like I have evolved as a person and that old me who used to watch porn feels foreign.”
The Intimacy Reset
60 days of 1-on-1 work with me, built on the Neural Reset and focused on one thing: your brain responding to her again. Not a course. Not a group. A personalized process, built around you.
Don't think of me as a therapist. Think of me as your trainer. Every great athlete has one, and there's a reason: the best don't take on their hardest problems alone.
I only work with a handful of men at a time, so each one gets my full attention.
“I finally understood that I need to have an accountability partner and a coach I can work with through this process. Attempting it alone is not a good idea.”
Stopping the habit
Strategies that stop the habit from day one of working together. You feel yourself gaining control fast.
Resensitizing
We turn your brain's sensitivity dial back down, so her touch registers again instead of a screen.
Redirecting the drive
We don't suppress your sex drive. We point it back where it belongs: at her, and at your work and your body.
The husband identity
We rebuild how you see yourself, from a man hiding a secret to a husband who doesn't do that. That's what makes it last.
What's included
Everything below is with me directly. Nobody else.
- A 1-hour call with me every week
- We review your progress and plan the week ahead.
- Unlimited texting
- Hit an urge at 2am? Text me. We handle it together.
- Notes after every call
- Custom suggestions and exercises for your situation.
- The Intimacy Reset materials
- Yours for life. You start on them before our first call.
- About 2 hours a week
- At times you pick. The techniques themselves take minutes.
Ask me anything about the program first. The call is free.
Quitting is the start. Being there for her is the point.
Most programs treat quitting as the finish line. But quitting only stops the damage.
When the energy stops draining into a screen, it comes back everywhere. The focus at work. The consistency in the gym. The patience with your kids. And the man she gets to come home to.
What happens after you book
No surprises. Here's every step, from picking a time to day 60 and after.
Before you decide anything
- Today
Pick a time
Choose any open slot on my calendar. It's free.
- 30 minutes
We talk, just you and me
A confidential call. We cover your relationship, what's happening in the bedroom and what you want, and I'll give you insights you can use either way. Zero pressure. It's not a sales pitch in disguise.
- On the call
We decide together
We'd spend 60 days working together, so we both need to know it's a fit. This call is how I decide who I work with, and which level of support fits you. The program isn't free. The call is.
If we work together
- Day 1
You start right away
You get the Intimacy Reset materials and text access to me from day one. The first frameworks start working before our first call.
- Within a couple of days
Kickoff call
We map out your situation and put the first strategies in place to stop the bleeding.
- Two weeks in
You feel the difference
Drive coming back. Energy you forgot you had. Focus that sticks. Not because you're trying harder. Because your brain is starting to heal.
- By our third call
The Animal gets quieter
The CEO is in charge, and you're more present with her. From here we go deep on your specific situation.
- Day 60 and after
You leave with a roadmap
A clear plan to stay on track for good. If you ever slip after we're done, you get a free call with me to dig into what happened. Support doesn't end at day 60.
That's step one. It takes about a minute.
Is this for you?
It's for you if
- You're married or in a long-term relationship, and you want it to last.
- You win at work and in life, and the gap between that and your private secret is wearing you down.
- You're dealing with porn-induced ED, or the intimacy has gone cold.
- You've tried to quit before, and it didn't stick.
- You want a plan to follow, not more trying harder.
It's not for you if
- You're single. This is built for men with a partner. The Neural Reset is the same work, for any man.
- You think the problems are all her fault.
- You want a hack: a pill, a blocker or a 5-minute trick.
- You won't follow through on what we map out together.
- You don't believe investing in yourself is worth it.
No judgment. It just won't be the right fit.
Three guarantees, from me personally
Follow the system and you'll quit.
170+ men have done it before you, many of them with severe, decades-long habits.
Support after day 60.
If you ever slip after we're done, you get a free call with me. We'll dig into what happened and make sure it doesn't happen again.
A 2-week satisfaction guarantee.
Put your best foot forward and apply what you're learning. If it isn't helping in the first two weeks, you can request a refund.
“I'd have paid $10,000 for it if I'd known how much I would get out of it.”
Questions
Is this confidential?
Completely. The call is 1-on-1 with me, and what you share stays between us. Nothing on your card statement says “coaching” or “therapy”.
Every client on this page appears by initials only, with faces blurred. I work with executives, founders and doctors, and they get the same discretion you will.
Can this really help my relationship?
That's what it's built for. We don't start by talking through the relationship. We start with what's been pulling you away from it: a brain trained to respond to a screen instead of her.
As that changes, you show up differently. That's what gives the relationship room to heal.
She already found out. Is it too late?
No. For a lot of men, being found out is where real change starts. The secret is out, and the energy you spent hiding can go into rebuilding.
Is my ED really from porn?
I'm a coach, not a doctor, so I can't diagnose it. One common sign that porn is involved: everything works alone with a screen, but not with her.
Either way, see a doctor to rule out a physical cause. On the call, we'll talk about where you are.
How is this different from the Neural Reset?
It's the same 1-on-1 work with me, built on the same method. The Intimacy Reset is focused on men with a partner, where the bedroom and the relationship are why they're here.
If you're single, the Neural Reset is the right fit.
What happens on the free call?
We talk for 30 minutes about your goals and your specific situation, and I'll share insights you can use either way. Zero pressure.
It's also how I decide who I work with. If it feels like a good fit, we'll figure out what comes next, including which level of support is right for you.
Why isn't the price on this page?
Two reasons. I only take men I know I can help, and I can't know that until we've talked. And there are different levels of support, so I can't tell what's right for you without speaking with you first.
If it feels like a good fit, we'll figure out what comes next together. The call itself is free, and there's no payment to be made on this page.
I'm busy. How much time does it take?
About 2 hours a week, at times you pick. The techniques themselves take minutes, not hours. I work with executives, founders and doctors. They make it work.
What if it doesn't work for me?
Real question: do you actually want to quit? If the answer is yes, this works. That's not a claim. It's what 170+ men have shown. And there's a 2-week satisfaction guarantee: put your best foot forward, apply what you're learning, and if it isn't helping, you can request a refund.
If you'd like to ask me something before booking, message me on Telegram at t.me/devinmcdermot or email devin@devinmcdermott.com.
Every man on this page was where you are now.
- A.K., 42, executive
- D.N., 37, full-stack developer
- E.B., 34, software engineer
- M.P., 32, data analytics
- J.H., 31, mechanical engineer
- L.M., 23, sales
- M.P., 49, stock trader
- B., 38, father of three
- T.L., 36, project manager
- M.L., Big Tech project manager
Book your free call
30 minutes. Free and confidential. You'll talk to me directly.
You don't need the words for any of this yet. Most men don't have them on the first call. All you need is to want it. The fact that you're still reading tells me you do.
Devin M.
Enrollment is open until Sunday, October 25. I'm only taking 5 men this round.
The next round isn't open yet. Book a call anyway, or email “waitlist” to devin@devinmcdermott.com to get first dibs.
Pick a time that works for you
Free 30-minute confidential consultation
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You don't need the words for any of this yet. Most men don't have them on the first call. All you need is to want it. The fact that you're still reading tells me you do.
Devin M.